Adapting

It doesn't feel so weird anymore, living in such a big place. I've learned the streets forward and back. Well, for the most part. I've even started hanging out with a couple people from work. We went out for drinks a couple nights ago.

Actually they went out for drinks, I went out for awesome food and to steal a few sips of their beers and mojitos. I was the new girl in the group, they'd all known each other for months before I showed up. I almost felt like a little lion cub they'd adopted into their den.

I sat next to a girl with sunkissed skin and the bluest eyes who called herself KC (not Casey; K, pause, C), and a guy who worked in the cubicle next to mine. His name was Jordy. They got to talking to me about back home. Asked if I missed it and how I was adapting to the city. 

"I love it here but I still miss home sometimes," I said.

"Hon, home is wherever you're loved, don't you know that? I love your hair and your cute little accent. Jordy loves when you buy an extra Americano for him in the mornings. Sounds like you're doing just fine here."

And I guess she was right. I was managing to fit in, I barely missed my hometown anymore. I still missed Sam but we phoned each other all the time. She did always say I was too negative sometimes.

"Life isn't a Disney movie, chica. But if you let it, it could be way better."

Homesick

I can't believe it. I'm actually homesick. How can I possibly be missing home when I'm surrounded by freedom?

I sat on the end of my bed, eating the most delicious pepperoni pizza I'd ever had. Pizza hut was no match. I flipped through channels trying to find something other than old school sitcoms or crime dramas.

This was the first night since I'd left home that Sam and I didn't speak on the phone. She'd had some kind of date with some guy I'd never heard of, and I- well I had a date with my bed.

My eyes were caught by a brightly colored bracelet on my dresser. I walked over and picked it up to read my name on it. I remember when Sam and I had made these friendship bracelets for each other when we were in high school. I wondered if she still wore hers from time to time. I wondered if she'd one day move on and find somebody to replace me.

"Under certain conditions, a virus can connect to germ cells and transmit itself as the cellular gene of a complex species; moreover, it can take flight, move into the cells of an entirely different species, but not without bringing with it "genetic information" from the first host." -Deleuze and Guattari

It was pathetic to worry like that. I was supposed to be embarking on some big journey but I guess things didn't turn out exactly the way I'd expected.