Adapting

It doesn't feel so weird anymore, living in such a big place. I've learned the streets forward and back. Well, for the most part. I've even started hanging out with a couple people from work. We went out for drinks a couple nights ago.

Actually they went out for drinks, I went out for awesome food and to steal a few sips of their beers and mojitos. I was the new girl in the group, they'd all known each other for months before I showed up. I almost felt like a little lion cub they'd adopted into their den.

I sat next to a girl with sunkissed skin and the bluest eyes who called herself KC (not Casey; K, pause, C), and a guy who worked in the cubicle next to mine. His name was Jordy. They got to talking to me about back home. Asked if I missed it and how I was adapting to the city. 

"I love it here but I still miss home sometimes," I said.

"Hon, home is wherever you're loved, don't you know that? I love your hair and your cute little accent. Jordy loves when you buy an extra Americano for him in the mornings. Sounds like you're doing just fine here."

And I guess she was right. I was managing to fit in, I barely missed my hometown anymore. I still missed Sam but we phoned each other all the time. She did always say I was too negative sometimes.

"Life isn't a Disney movie, chica. But if you let it, it could be way better."

Homesick

I can't believe it. I'm actually homesick. How can I possibly be missing home when I'm surrounded by freedom?

I sat on the end of my bed, eating the most delicious pepperoni pizza I'd ever had. Pizza hut was no match. I flipped through channels trying to find something other than old school sitcoms or crime dramas.

This was the first night since I'd left home that Sam and I didn't speak on the phone. She'd had some kind of date with some guy I'd never heard of, and I- well I had a date with my bed.

My eyes were caught by a brightly colored bracelet on my dresser. I walked over and picked it up to read my name on it. I remember when Sam and I had made these friendship bracelets for each other when we were in high school. I wondered if she still wore hers from time to time. I wondered if she'd one day move on and find somebody to replace me.

"Under certain conditions, a virus can connect to germ cells and transmit itself as the cellular gene of a complex species; moreover, it can take flight, move into the cells of an entirely different species, but not without bringing with it "genetic information" from the first host." -Deleuze and Guattari

It was pathetic to worry like that. I was supposed to be embarking on some big journey but I guess things didn't turn out exactly the way I'd expected.

Exploring the Streets

I decided to take a walk around a small shopping area just a few blocks down from the tiny apartment I'd been temporarily living in. There were a lot of people around. More people than I'd ever seen in one place before.

There was a lady pushing a blue stroller with one hand and holding a cup of coffee in the other. tons of brightly colored bags swung from her arms. They almost seemed to dance with the music of the street.

Stores full of expensive looking clothing and jewelry lined up around me in every direction. Girls laughing, babies crying, and yellow cabs honking filled my ears and disoriented me.
I nearly ran into an artist on the side of the street.

She had a canvas in front of her on which she seemed to be drawing a large red hand. On the floor next to her was a bag full of what looked like more red hands. Photographs, cutouts, collages, all of the same thing. I'd never seen anything like it. Next to the bag laid a small white book with large letters on it.

But before I could ask about her work, I heard a song playing right in front of me.

I stepped around a corner to find an open air restaurant playing beautiful music. The smell of shrimp and fish wafted out of it and pulled me in. I sat at the bar and was greeted by a woman in black clothes.

"Can I get you a drink, hun?"

I asked for a soda. It was a warm day, I was pretty thirsty.

As I sipped on my drink, my attention was stolen by a large group of people sitting across the way.
They were all holding colorful drink with wedges of all kinds of fruits on the rims.
They looked so happy to me. Carefree, drinking and smiling and talking of beautiful vacation spots that they planned to visit as soon as they had the money.


Paradise of the Pacific